Exit, pursued by a bear

Reading Time Management

2010-04-28T13:24:00.004-05:00

We are all busy. We all have a million things to do and (seemingly) not enough time to get them all done. We all say at some point: "I wish I had more hours in the day!"

Well, I got news for y'all: there are only 24 hours in a day, and that's not going to change any time soon. Instead of wishing for more time, we should try to make better use of the 24 hours that we already have. But that's easy to say and harder still to do. How to start the process?

I began my quest to better time management by identifying activities that I engage in on a daily basis that might be wasteful. And the number one activity by far was driving a car to and from work every day. Think about it: all you can do when you drive a car is DRIVE THE CAR. You can't do anything else effectively and that includes such activities as putting on makeup, trimming your nails, or checking emails on your laptop or smartphone. Attempting to "multi task" while driving is a waste of time at best and potentially deadly at worst.

So what if public transportation is not an option for you and you must drive to work every day. How can you make better use of that time? Three words: books on tape. Now know as audio books, these have made my daily commute much more entertaining and informative. Give them a try for your daily commute and you might be amazed to discover how much you enjoy the experience.

Floor Zero

2010-04-21T15:14:00.007-05:00

When the air heats up and gets heavy with humidity, my brain turns to mush. I slowly put away the biographies and histories and heavyweight fiction that I normally relish. And then out comes the thrillers and the horrors and other pulpy stuff that makes it onto the NYT Best Selling Paperback list. I used to be ashamed of this phenomenon, but have come to embrace it as I have grown older. Even my late Father enjoyed a literary "amuse bouche" from time to time. Nothing wrong with a little brain candy!

And with that, I offer you the opening paragraph of Floor Zero...

"I was telling my boyfriend the same thing! God, what is it with men?" Sue barked into the phone. She looked around guiltily because she knew g.d. well that the office phone is not meant for personal business. But there was nobody around to bother her, so she continued yakking with Patty for another 15 minutes. And then an odd sound filled the air. Not quite as annoying as a fire alarm, but loud enough to prevent any further conversation. "I'll call you back," Sue said as she hung up. "What the hell is that..." She looked around and noticed that something was blinking in the lower right corner of her monitor. She leaned in closer and saw a small pop up window with the words ALERT ALERT ALERT in red blinking text. She clicked the window with her mouse and everything on her screen vanished. Another window appeared seconds later, displaying what looked like a video feed from a surveillance camera. The picture was slowly sweeping back and forth across a large room filled with lab equipment. Sue blinked and then began to scream. She was still screaming when she bolted from her chair and ran out the front door of the Portland Health Sciences building. The only thing that stopped her screaming was the baton that tapped her on the back of the head as she rounded the corner toward the parking garage.

Well then....

2010-04-16T14:15:00.003-05:00

It's been a while. A really long while. Needless to say, lots has been going on. Mostly good, but some not so good. I'll get to all that later.

I'm trying to resurrect my writing, so I'm taking part in The Weekend Assignment. It's a contest of sorts that was started by John Scalzi when he was working at AOL. It's a chance to flex your creativity in a short format. So we'll see how this goes. Click the picture to find out more:

2010 has already brought many changes to my life. My Father passed away in January as a result of a fall. It was quite unexpected and shocking and tragic and sad and all those other things. But my Sister and I are getting through it, one day at a time. Washington experienced the snowiest February in recorded history, which cut the number of performances of "Amadeus" almost in half. I played the title role, but that's for another post.

I'll sign off for now, but there are many more posts to come. Thanks for sticking around!

Ohio: Ecstasy

2009-02-01T21:30:00.001-05:00

NOTE: Yes, this is one of those posts I warned you about. There is nothing graphic within, but tons of suggestive content. You have been warned...

We had rented a cabin somewhere in the Ohio hills with another couple. They took the master room while we took the "kid's room". We had to push together two twin beds to manufacture something that could contain us adequately. Considering how active our evening was, I am still surprised that our contraption held together.

I remember that the evening had a rhythm that neither of us could control. It took us forever to sync up, probably the anticipation of having a room to ourselves with no roomies stumbling in at inopportune moments. Or maybe it was we had confided to each other earlier in our relationship: neither of us had an "ecstatic" moment in our romantic lives. Orgasms? Sure. Passion? Absolutely. But had either one of us been transported by ecstasy? No.

We wanted to change that. And we did.

At one point I remember kissing her so intensely that I forgot to breathe. I remember when we finally did sync up, and our hips moved together as naturally as the tide lapping against the shore. I remember looking into her eyes and losing myself in her affectionate gaze.

Yes, it was an active evening. I'm sure that I got less than two hours of actual sleep while her insomnia served her well: she would let me rest for a bit before starting up again.

We were still making love when the sun peeked through the bare trees the next morning. The winter glow filled the room slowly, warming the skin on our faces and lending another sparkle to our eyes.

A billion here, a trillion there...

2009-02-01T08:41:00.002-05:00

... pretty soon you're talking about real money!

You should spend the next six minutes watching this.

Virginia: And the clouds parted...

2009-01-28T17:00:00.000-05:00

It occurs to me that I have devoted much of this space to my divorce. And while that is sad, I must state that my former spouse and I have remained friends. Good friends, actually. So with that statement made, I offer one of my most favorite memories of all time.

Our wedding day was shaping up to be a typical March day in DC: chilly with a side of cloudy. We both knew the odds, being natives had inoculated us to any disappointment regarding the weather. We were polar opposites when it came to temperature: she preferred the sweltering heat and humidity of DC Summers while I preferred the chill of Fall sliding into Winter. With those facts in hand, it was easy to plot a temperate month to have our wedding. March seemed as good as October to us.

We assembled at the Lyon Village Community Center, a quaint little structure on the grounds of a park. It felt very similar to a Quaker Meeting House, solemn but in a non-denominational sort of way. While friends decorated the hearth with greenery snatched from outside, I cooled my heels in an upstairs room. My Father-in-Law to be and I chuckled over the whole "you can't see the Bride until you are at the altar" thing and I looked out the window. There were kids playing in the park, despite the chill and the clouds. I remembered that a couple who was interested in using the space for their wedding was going to drop by and stand in the back to watch the proceedings. No, this didn't bother us at all we told them. I don't think I even noticed them.

So, our "Wedding Dictator" (a position created by the woman who named it in my honor, since I performed the same function for her two years earlier) called me down and arranged us in our processional order. We filed in, the Ushers beaming and the Minister (Unitarian, natch) awaited me and my Best Man. The Bride entered with her Father, who only paused so he could place his white cowboy hat on an empty chair before proceeding down the aisle. (I still get a bit misty thinking about that moment.)

We joined hands and listened to the sermon and the readings and the music. Then it came time for the vows. As the Minister began, I noticed that Sweetie was tearing up. So I reached for one of the three handkerchiefs I carried with me that day to hand to her. As I was doing so, I was temporarily struck blind.

Tears? No.

Adrenaline rush? Nope.

The sun had come out.

And it filled the room with such a soft golden light that there were a few gasps from the audience. (One of our theatrical friends complimented Sweetie on pulling off such a difficult lighting cue.) The room warmed, we looked at each other, and smiled. Then kissed. And then we were married.

It really was a perfect moment.

Inaugural Notes

2009-01-21T19:41:00.003-05:00

Just a couple of personal notes from a rather historic day:

I was working from home and I got my problematic wireless network back up and running for my work laptop. So I curled up in front of the TV machine and settled in for the ceremony. When a certain pastor stepped up to the podium, I snapped this picture:

Yes, that's me turning my back upon Pastor Rick Warren. Hey, it's the least I could do, right? And I didn't even boo or raise my fist in anger when the former administration was introduced. I was too happy to protest any harder.

When it came time for Obama to take the oath of office, I decided to test something. I noticed that I could hear the Fourth of July fireworks on the Mall from my porch. Faint little pops instead of the sonic booms, but the sound was unmistakable. So I stepped onto my porch and listened. And there came a low rumble, more vibration than sound, punctuated by the artillery fire right after he completed the oath.

Hope never sounded so good!

Inauguration Day

2009-01-20T00:00:00.002-05:00

By the time this post reaches your retinas, it will be Inauguration Day. I spent the eve of this day by watching the latest film to arrive via Netflix: a documentary on the Iraq war and occupation called "No End in Sight". I almost didn't watch it, didn't want to bum myself out. But then I thought it important to review what had come before as I welcome what is to come.

So I made dinner and watched it.

And I did get angry all over again.

In particular, the looting of the museums and libraries made my blood pressure rise. An entire country's history and culture snatched away in the lawlessness that we condoned. "Stuff happens," to quote Secretary Rumsfeld.

But I'm still hopeful, despite the grim assessment of the people who tried to get things right and were thwarted by an administration focused on politics instead of results. Perhaps after eight years of living in fear fomented by the Bush administration, we can believe again in our collective capacity to do the right thing.

Happy Inauguration day, everybody!

Minnesota: Navigating by ten year old maps

2009-01-19T15:30:00.001-05:00

This memory begins in a state already covered: Iowa. I did a stint of summer stock theater in East Central Iowa and I didn't have a whole lot of free time. Just one day, in fact: Monday. That was the only day when we interns were not spending 12+ hours inside a theater of some sort. That precluded the possibility of any serious day-tripping, although some folks did get to Chicago and back for a few hours of shopping.

I had been to Chicago many times so that held little appeal. But another city did: Minneapolis. I had never set foot in Minnesota before but I figured if the people were half as nice as they were in Iowa then I would be OK. The immediate problem was how to navigate once I got there. I was earning $50/week and board, so buying a big ole driver's atlas was out of the question. So I went to the company office and asked if they had anything I could borrow for the day. The secretary pulled out a ten year old map of the Twin Cities and wished me luck. Her parting comment was encouraging: "Nothing much has changed up there, anyway. The roads should still be where they say they are."

I set out early Monday morning, pointing the nose of my red Ford Fairmont station wagon North. As I approached the city, I began to eye the ten year old map on my passenger seat. I pulled over to a rest area and parked. I unfolded it and began to plot my approach. There were a few stops on my itinerary (a Thai restaurant, a bookstore, a museum, and a park), so I plotted the best course I could based on location and cross-streets.

I folded the map as strategically as I could and resumed the journey.

And yes, I navigated that city like a pro. There were some changes, to be sure, but like most Midwestern cities, Minneapolis was laid out like a grid. So if I missed a street, all I had to do was "box the compass" to get back to a starting point and then make the turn. I had a grand day, saw some pretty art, ate some wonderful food, picked up a novel or two. The park was out, it began to storm while I was there and continued on my way back home. But that was the only setback to an otherwise wonderful day.

I haven't gotten seriously lost since. That was the biggest gift of the day: navigational confidence.

Texas: Nine hours I would like back

2009-01-17T10:50:00.000-05:00

I've done a fair amount of traveling for business over my career. When you first take a business trip, it's fun. Kinda like a field trip except you get to eat out and drink and maybe even go to a club and have fun when you're not working. I adapted pretty well and came to enjoy traveling on my own. I had a whole system worked out so that my trips were almost always trouble-free:

Check in at the hotel and find out if they have a Concierge.
Introduce yourself to the Concierge, or the cute girl at the Reception Desk, and inform them that you are in town in business and want to know the good places to eat and enjoy one's self.
Tip them at least $5 on your way up to your room.
Come down for dinner after unpacking and meet the Concierge. By this time, they should have several dinner options, directions, or (if you're lucky!) a cab waiting to take you to the best BBQ place in the city. (The latter only happened to me once, but it was cool!)

So you get the idea. It's a great system, but it doesn't work on the worst kind of business trip: the Day Trip.

You aren't going to stay there, so there is no reason to try to find the best places to eat. You'll only get two meals at best, and one of them is going to be at the airport!

My only time in Texas was on one of these Day Trips. I wish I could report something memorable or unique or interesting. I can't -- the suburb of Dallas where we spent the day looked like Springfiled, VA. There were only three things that told me I was even in Texas:

The accents.
The Western Style Suits with cowboy boots that most of the men favored.
The awesome Mexican food we had for lunch.

That's it. Not much of a memory, I realize. I'm sure by the time I get to Austin my opinions about Texas will change. But for now, I'm left with an empty feeling whenever I think about Texas.

8 and 41

2009-01-14T13:05:00.002-05:00

So I turned 41 last week. Had a great birthday week, actually. Lots of shout-outs on Facebook, cards, cupcakes, a great steak dinner, a happy hour the next day to celebrate along with a coworker (whose birthday was the day after mine). All in all, a good deal.

And then today rolls around: the eighth anniversary of my Mom's passing.

I felt a tad melancholy when I glanced at the clock on my phone at 10 AM*. But then I always feel a tad melancholy when I do that. My grief has certainly evolved from the times when I could not talk about it at all, despite all the pleasant and supportive urging from my wife. At the time, my Sister thought I wasn't really mourning Mom, or at least not mourning in the proper way. I'm usually much more effusive with my emotions, so my reticence was surprising to me. I think that part of me, the part I got from Mom, needed to hunker down and ride out the artillery barrage, just like in All Quiet on the Western Front. After a while, the ground no longer shook from the explosions of the falling shells.

Now I just miss her. I miss her council, her humor, her zest for life. I know I'll always carry those things within me and I use them most every day. That's the best thing I can do for her today. Especially today.

*We used to call each other at work at 10 AM every morning. Silly conversations mostly. But I miss them most of all.

Things That Bother Me: A New Series

2009-01-13T20:13:00.002-05:00

NOTE: The title should say it all. I stole the idea from a friend. No, I'm not telling you who. She prefers to remain anonymous. That's it. No more questions.

Common Courtesy #1

I've noticed this a lot on pundit shows and it is driving me slowly mad.

OK, kids, pop quiz! How do you respond to someone when they say "Thank you"?

A. Thank you.

B. No, thank you.

C. My pleasure.

D. You're welcome.

E. None of the above.

Time's up! Pencils down!

Give up? Can't decide?

There are two correct answers: C and D.

Never thank someone who is in the act of thanking you. I know that it sounds like a nice reciprocal gesture, but all you have done is negated their expression of gratitude. "No, thank you" is kind of like saying "Fuck you! My expression of gratitude is far more important than your expression of gratitude. In fact, it's so important that I am going to make sure I get the last word in this exchange."

I prefer to use "My pleasure" in more personal and/or intimate situations. "You're welcome" is always the most polite way to go.

Maryland: "Homicide" Auditions

2009-01-12T11:25:00.000-05:00

1995 was probably the peak of my professional acting career. It was not my primary source of income for I had begun my Technical Writing career that same year. But I went on many auditions and got lots of callbacks, and, as a result, a few jobs. Some stage, some voice-over, some local advertisements. But the highlights of that year were two separate auditions for "Homicide: Life on the Street".

They say that you can't be a working actor in NYC without having worked on at least one of the many "Law & Order" franchises. During the early 1990s, "Homicide" was the Baltimore/Washington area's version. Most of my professional friends had been on in an extra or small supporting role. One of my grad school colleagues had a recurring role as a reporter throughout most of the show's run. Between the acting opportunities, scores of other businesses made it through those tough economic times by working with the show.

Almost all of it was filmed out of a single building in the Fells Point area of Baltimore. The production offices were also located in the building because it was so large, so that's where you went if you were called to audition. The first time I went I was just awed by being there -- have I mentioned that I was a HUGE fan of the show? -- so I don't remember too much about the experience. I know I read with a production assistant for a witness role. I didn't get the part, but I was far from disappointed. Just being about ten feet from the desk of Det. Frank Pembleton was a thrill for me.

The second audition was much more fun. I was called for the role of the copy-cat sniper in the second part of a two-part episode called "Sniper". The only detail I remember from the audition is that I got to perform my callback in "The Box", the interrogation room set. My god, that was so freakin' cool! The only other thing that occurs to me is that I really got into the whole claustrophobic nature of the being in "The Box".

Didn't get the part, but it is one of my favorite acting memories nevertheless.

P.S. There is a post-script to this story, but it occurs in another state.

Iowa: The Great Fireworks Mishap of 1976

2009-01-09T12:00:00.000-05:00

NOTE: Consult this post for an explanation of TRP's writing project. I won't follow his rules except trying to post one state-related memory every week. I haven't visited all 50 states, so there may be multiple memories per state. Some of the memories may contain sexual content. Nothing graphic, but very probably sensual. I'll give y'all a fair warning if you don't want to read those.

The Bicentennial Year featured my first summer trip to Iowa, the state of my Mom's birth. Clear Lake, Iowa, became forever stamped in my mind as the idyllic model for small-town American life. Friendly people, a cottage by the lake, a carnival (complete with a freak show!), a parade, and fireworks!

Fireworks are launched from a barge floating on the lake, so the entire community can have a great view of the spectacle.

After dinner, we all assembled on the dock to watch the show. My uncle gave me a pair of binoculars to watch the shells as they were launched from the barge. He crouched down beside me on the dock and scanned the far shoreline. "There it is, Tommy," he said. He handed me the binoculars and pointed me in the right direction. Sure enough, I could see the barge, a dark smudge against the far shoreline.

Minutes passed and the appointed moment arrived. The gathered began to look heavenward to see the first beautiful star bursts of the evening. I refocused my binoculars and concentrated on the barges, hoping to see the trails of the shells.

I only saw one flash -- and it went in a horizontal rather than a vertical direction. Then there was nothing. I told everyone what I saw and my uncle snatched the binoculars out of my hand. He scanned the shoreline and could see nothing.

In the morning, the paper told the awful truth: one of the shells misfired and punched a hole in the barge. The entire thing sank very quickly, and one of the pyrotechnicians came very close to injury as he lept from the stricken barge. We were all bummed by the lack of fireworks, but grateful that nobody was hurt.

That was one of the first times in my life that I remember putting the lives of others ahead of my own pleasure.

On Peace

2008-12-29T14:29:00.003-05:00

With today's headlines from the Middle East, it seems odd for a post on peace. But peace has settled upon me and I am trying to welcome it into my life.

I've spent much of 2008 picking up the pieces of my heart and mind while recovering from the divorce. I could write at length about the drunken, sobbing nights I endured this year, but those don't much interest me now. Toward the end of the winter and the beginning of Spring, I began to feel better. I've written about this turn of the road before, but some elaboration is in order.

My therapist recommended that I construct a timeline of my marriage. Major events, changes in mood or circumstance, things that may seem minor and/or important. I approached this assignment with a fair amount of dread, because who wants to see their failed marriage arranged on a spreadsheet or a table? But I decided to attack this as another Technical Writing project: document what happened in order to produce a better Test Case for future releases. So I began the task. Took me about two months to complete, but by the time I was done I did see some patterns of behavior. Patterns that during the marriage I considered essential to its survival. Patterns that I have exhibited my whole life.

I sat on these discoveries for a while, not knowing what to do with them. Typical guy thing to do, I guess: ignore the problem and it will go away! I wrote in my journal without reviewing its contents as I went along (a former habit of mine). I also used the VoiceNotes program on my iPhone to record my thoughts and feelings, mostly while porching ("Porch Thoughts"). And after a while the problem revealed itself. The best way to sum it up is in a maxim I have often said to people over the years: "If you can't take care of yourself, then how can you take care of another?"

The cruise was a wonderful kickoff to my latest project: Taking Care of My Emotional Life. Making small changes, asking myself if this choice or that one will be beneficial to me as well as to another, for example, has done wonders. And all during the hectic production process at work I felt calm and centered. Unlike last year when I was at wits end, spending 12+ hours at work because I loathed returning to my new home to be alone with my demons.

This Holiday Season has been one of the best I've ever had. My family has been a real source of strength and I wept when we exchanged gifts, saying that they had already give me the best gift of all: their love. I had Dad, Sister, and her dog over for dinner last night, and we all had a wonderful time chatting and marveling in the sixty-degree weather! We sat on the porch before dinner and reveled in it.

So, this peace. I like it. I'm still working hard at welcoming it into my life, and I still have much work on myself to do. But I feel that I've been given a headlamp while still spelunking my mental caverns. I can find my way out of this; I believe this now.

On Singing in Public

2008-12-28T15:08:00.003-05:00

Last night I attended a holiday party and met a whole bunch of new people. Always a good thing. A group of them left early to go to a piano bar and asked if I wanted to tag along. I brought some cigars to share with my host so I told them I would meet them up later.

After leaving the party, and then going home to put on a sweater because the air was getting chilly, I made my way to National Harbor. This is the brand new hotel/convention center/outdoor mall complex just over the Woodrow Wilson Bridge in Maryland. Only took about 20 minutes to get there from my house and I found the place with no problem.

I call one of the folks to find out the name of the piano bar. "Bobby McKey's," she said.

It's not a typical piano bar. It's what would happen if a dueling piano bar were dropped into the middle of a frat party. And people don't get up to sing while the pianists provide backup, rather, the performers encourage the crowd to sing, clap, chant, and make all manner of ruckus while they belt out a bunch of very different tunes.

On the plus side, all of the musicians were pretty good. Nice piano technique and serviceable voices. Even their canned jokes didn't feel quite so canned. They all knew how to read a crowd, and this was a raucous one. So they got appropriately raunchy when they needed to be and then clever to amuse themselves.

All in all, I had a nice time even though my voice paid the price for howling along with the rest of the crowd. But as I drove home, I felt a longing for a real piano bar. And then I remembered the one that my friend TRP took me too many years ago when I was visiting Seattle.

I usually prefer new takes on old forms, but in this case I'll make an exception.

A Different Kind of Holiday Show

2008-12-22T19:19:00.002-05:00

Over the weekend, I attended a production of "The Last Days of Judas Iscariot". I thought it was one of the most moving and sensitive portraits of Christianity I've ever seen. That title was previously held by "The Last Temptation of Christ" (book and movie), but this moved me even more.

The play consists of a trial for Judas Iscariot held in Purgatory. There are witnesses arrayed for and against, and while Judas spends most of his the play in a semi-catatonic state, he remains central and vital to what is going on around him. The question before us is simple: Can we forgive Judas? Should Judas be forgiven at all?

Not surprisingly, I found that I could forgive him. But not because of my feelings about organized religion, but because I understood why he made that choice. I won't tell you the reason, because that may spoil the play for you and I do encourage you to see a production if you get the chance.

But for now, during this season of peace and reflection and forgiveness, I choose to think not of the Light of the World, but of the man who effectively snuffed it out. Sometimes cursing the darkness is the only choice you think you have.

Pastor Rick Warren

2008-12-18T16:28:00.002-05:00

Speaking as one of those non-religious types, I have to ask a question: Why do we need a religious figure to be included in the Inauguration of the President of the United States? I don't care about Rick Warren. He doesn't speak for me -- but then again, the Reverend Barry Lynn doesn't speak for me either (at least from a religious standpoint).

But if I were the leader of the LGBT band from San Francisco that is scheduled to perform in the Inaugural Parade, I might be tempted to inform Obama that they might be busy that day. You know, for a parade in South Dakota, perhaps.

I do think that Obama's response is pretty good, FWIW:

On Thrown Shoes

2008-12-17T13:05:00.004-05:00

This may get me kicked out of the super-secret-commie-pinko-bleeding-heart-liberal-elitist club, but I didn't find the shoe-throwing incident funny. In fact, I found it rather sad. Sad for our country, sad for Iraq, sad for the troubled journalist, and sad for the President. Maybe I'm still feeling a bit melancholy over the death of a friend but I couldn't enjoy any schadenfreude from it at all.

Truth is, I just want GWB to go away. I don't want to waste any energy (emotional or otherwise) on him. That's not to say I don't want every single one of his crimes investigated to the fullest extent possible. But that's for the incoming administration to deal with. For now, we have to deal with this sad little man who doesn't seem to understand the enormity of the insult that those shoes represent. Either that, or he just doesn't care.

And that may be the saddest thing of all.

***UPDATE***

OK, this may be the saddest thing of all:

Inferno and Paradiso

2008-12-15T17:34:00.003-05:00

Funny how two weeks ago today I was lying on a beach in the Dominican Republic, soaking up some Vitamin D and listening to the latest Stephen King short story collection on my iPhone. Today I plunged deep into the document production process for our upcoming release. Only 150 docs or so to deal with. It'll be fine. Really.

Also funny how remembering how the powdery sand felt between my toes helped today go by a bit faster...

Post Mortem

2008-12-14T01:05:00.001-05:00

So much has happened.

A vacation that was 15 years in the making.

A peace that is slowly settling upon me.

The death of a dear friend.

Updates to follow. I am needing this forum once again...

Hope

2008-11-04T11:55:00.004-05:00

"In the unlikely story that is America there has never been anything false about hope." -- Senator Barack Obama

The first time I heard Senator Obama utter that line, I wept. I wept for many reasons: the state of my beloved country, the state of our political discourse, even the state of my own beloved Commonwealth. But the main reason I wept was for myself.

Because when I first heard that line, I was hopeless.

The divorce was bearing down on me like a runaway semi with no brakes. I had made some costly mistakes at work and what was once a refuge from the turmoil in my life had become an uncomfortable place to be. I drank too much. I felt overwhelmed by everyone and everything.

And then I heard that line.

I know this sounds corny as hell, but I'll swear on any book you want me to swear on that this was the moment that the clouds began to part for me. Just a little bit. It took weeks of trying to believe those words and then to commit them to action in my own life.

And now, life is so different.

The divorce is in my rear view mirror, no longer a dominant presence in my life. Yes, it has informed who I am now, but I have not let it define me. Work is better. My social life has improved. I've even lost almost ten pounds on Weight Watchers in the last month.

But all of those things would have been impossible without believing in the audacity of hope.

I proudly cast my ballot today for Senator Obama for many reasons. But the biggest one is the hope that his words gave me. They are a gift that I will always be thankful for.

Ex- and Empty

2008-07-11T11:45:00.004-05:00

So, it is done.

The waiting is over.

The papers have been signed.

The money has been deposited.

How do I feel?

Empty.

But it's a good kind of empty feeling. I feel like a piece of freshly turned out pottery, awaiting its time to be filled.

And now two interesting linguistic matters have materialized: the use of the pronoun "we" is going to be employed less and the use of the prefix "ex-" is going to become more prevalent. I'm sure that the last thing most recently divorced folks think about is their use of language when it comes to referencing their former and current daily lives. But, as an actor and a writer my thoughts naturally fall to such things.

So now I must ready myself for the next big thing: the rest of my life.

032401 -- 070908

2008-07-08T19:06:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow.

Ever since I learned the court date for our divorce hearing, I haven't been able to get these lines from "Hamlet" out of my head:

HORATIO
If your mind dislike any thing, obey it: I will
forestall their repair hither, and say you are not
fit.

HAMLET
Not a whit, we defy augury: there's a special
providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now,
'tis not to come; if it be not to come, it will be
now; if it be not now, yet it will come: the
readiness is all: since no man has aught of what he
leaves, what is't to leave betimes?

Like Hamlet, I thought I was ready to face the end. And, like Hamlet, I find myself in a state of eerie tranquility about my lack of preparation to face the end. Despite all my confident reassurances to family, friends, and myself, I find myself both terrified and relieved by the prospect of tomorrow.

True, I'm not going to die tomorrow. And my feelings for my soon-to-be-ex-wife won't change. But I will feel different by the time the day is over. Change is difficult, isn't it? And sometimes painful.

I want to thank all of you for your support, your love, and your good wishes. I will carry them with me tomorrow and all the days to come.

An Amuse Bouche for the Weekend

2008-05-23T07:47:00.000-05:00

Have a great weekend!

"King Lear" Post Mortem

2008-05-19T17:15:00.000-05:00

"The King is dead; long live the King."

A three-week, nine-show run is hardly enough time to adequately explore the vast yet intimate universe that "King Lear" inhabits. I'm not sure that I'm qualified to make such an exploration. All I can do, with your indulgence, is to offer a few insights into what made my journey through this play one of the more challenging experiences in my theatrical career.

First, a few observations about the production itself. Like most community theater, the technical production was hit-or-miss. The lighting was effective, the sound design engaging and evocative, the costuming adequate. (We all made jokes about the "smocks" all the men were wearing; it was like we were back in pre-school on the way to finger painting.) The group, Cedar Lane Stage, is affiliated with the Cedar Lane Unitarian Universalist Church. That means we performed in the main sanctuary of the church: a large box with two of its walls composed of glass panels, some of them tinted. As a result, we never fully went to blackout, which made scene changes difficult. The space also has poor acoustical traits; it's very difficult to find your voice in there. I didn't even bother warming up in the space because it sounded different when the space was empty than it did with audience present.

The direction and cast were very strong. But I wasn't very worried about that going into rehearsals: Shakespeare tends to bring out very talented people. I happened into this show in an unusual way: by email. The director sent me a message 4 days after I finished "An Experiment With an Air Pump" and offered me the role of Gloucester. I took a day and a half to think about it, and when I learned that a few of my friends were in the cast (all of them very talented folk) so that sealed my decision to join the cast.

At the outset, I was a bit concerned that I wasn't old enough to play Gloucester. Being 40 is one thing, but when one of the actors playing your son is four months older than you, steps must be taken. So the director encouraged me to grow a beard. It helped a bit, a bit more when it was whitened, but I never got the sense that my "look" was convincing. As a friend who came to see the show said: "You're too young to play Gloucester; the good news is you get to try again!" Maybe in a decade or so...

Of course the divorce hung over me in this production. There were too many parallels between Gloucester's journey through the play and my own journey at the moment. The only difference between G and me is that his abuse is mainly physical while mine is mainly mental. But, surprisingly I found, they were both rooted in the same emotion: shame. Gloucester's shame is three-fold: he's failed his king/country by not preventing Lear from falling into the arrogant trap he sets for himself, he's failed his legitimate son by sending him fleeing into the wilderness for his life, and he's failed his bastard son by treating him so terribly that his son betrays him. All of these failures become tangled in Gloucester's mind and vex him terribly; his torture at the end of Act 3 seems almost trivial were it not for the blood. Strangely, when I played the subsequent scenes I didn't feel that Gloucester hated Edmund; he failed him. If Gloucester had only shown him a bit more attention and a bit more love, perhaps all of this could have been avoided.

I don't think I need to tell you how many nights I have had those same thoughts about the breakup of my marriage. Hey, at least I didn't get my eyes removed!

There's really only one thing left to discuss and that is Act 4, scene 6, when Gloucester and Lear are reunited. It was an emotionally draining scene, one that was difficult to get into until we stumbled upon something remarkable during rehearsal. Lou Pangaro, the actor playing Lear and a dear friend, decided to wear a pair of boots to rehearsal one night for this scene. During the scene, Lear and Gloucester joke around with each other, allowing the audience to glimpse what their relationship must have been like long ago. And then the madness takes hold of Lear again:

KING LEAR

... Get thee glass eyes;
And like a scurvy politician, seem
To see the things thou dost not. Now, now, now, now:
Pull off my boots: harder, harder: so.

EDGAR

O, matter and impertinency mix'd! Reason in madness!

KING LEAR

If thou wilt weep my fortunes, take my eyes.
I know thee well enough; thy name is Gloucester:
Thou must be patient; we came crying hither:
Thou know'st, the first time that we smell the air,
We wawl and cry.

During one rehearsal, Lou pulled me down to the ground on his line "Now, now, now, now: Pull off my boots: harder, harder: so." He caught me completely by surprise, but I got down on my knees and groped around for his feet. I caught one of the boots and pulled -- and it came off in my hands, empty. That simple act triggered such a physical and emotional response that I bawled for twenty minutes. There, in Gloucester's hands, was the perfect metaphor for all that he had gone through. And when Lear said "Thou must be patient", I cried even harder. Because Gloucester has had enough of patience! He's spent this act trying to kill himself and he can't even do that right! At the end of this scene he wishes to be insane just like his master:

GLOUCESTER

The king is mad: how stiff is my vile sense,
That I stand up, and have ingenious feeling
Of my huge sorrows! Better I were distract:
So should my thoughts be sever'd from my griefs,
And woes by wrong imaginations lose
The knowledge of themselves.

But his lot is that he gets to feel everything that happens to him, and understand it all. Lear, by comparison, almost gets off Scot free. Lear's choices lead him to insanity, while Gloucester's lead to clarity.

The show ended last Sunday, and it took me until Thursday to get back to any semblance of normal. I'm taking some time off theater for a while, I think I've given my all for the moment. ;-)

For a more prosaic account of the show, I refer to you David Gorsline's excellent post here.

Six Degrees

2008-05-01T14:03:00.005-05:00

I blame Alison for this. And, by extension, Swankette. Very cunning, those two. They remind me of a couple of daughters in a certain play...

I do get stage fright. Very intense stage fright just as the lights go down and I get ready to enter. Once I cross the threshold, I'm fine. Very akin to the feeling of jumping out of perfectly good airplanes.
I have an intense phobia of anything cold-blooded. How intense? I almost killed a friend's gecko that was left in the care of one of my college suite mates without my knowledge. Keep in mind that this poor little thing was safely ensconced in a container.
Barry Manilow is the reason I started singing.
I have not visited my Mom's grave.
Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, I'll pick the cover over the original.
I almost always think I can do a better job at directing the show I'm in than the Director. That's the hardest thing for me about being an actor: knowing my place.

Bloody, Exhausted, Bitter, and Elated

2008-04-23T21:35:00.004-05:00

Been a while. (I keep saying that.)

Tech week for "King Lear" is here. I've had my eyes yanked out three or four times. Walking around backstage with a stage blood-smeared face is an interesting experience.

We have signed our divorce agreement. I'll get a summons and then go to court. And then all the waiting will be over.

Dad continues to mend. He attended a Yale class luncheon and reconnected with people he hasn't seen in a long time. He is responding well to Spring and so am I. My allergies aren't nearly the bother they have been in the past.

We're still in Iraq. That makes me bitter. But I'm glad that one of my fave singer/songwriters, Mike Doughty, knows what to do with this bitterness: write a little ditty called "Fort Hood". It's off his latest album, Golden Delicious, and here's a little video he shot for it. Please enjoy it. Its infectious spirit has elated me.

Been a While... Here's a Meme Entry!

2008-03-27T10:12:00.002-05:00

See here for more information.

The New Hotness

2008-02-19T23:15:00.002-05:00

I"m slowly getting used to all the iMac hotness... behold my first post using the Blogger widget!

Now I can post more easily... if I can get used to this tiny wireless keyboard!

I've Joined a Cult

2008-02-18T08:11:00.001-05:00

The cult of Jobs....

My the Gods have mercy on the Apple support line... because I'm going to use my AppleCare for all it's worth!

Second Night: Recap

2008-02-17T11:01:00.002-05:00

My apologies for the tardiness of this update. Not much to report on the second night. We finished reading the play and it didn't strike me as long as I remembered. Lear's long-winded-ness doesn't kick in until Act 4 or so, and my wanderings on the heath are as interesting than the King's. I haven't reviewed the text to bear this out, but I'm not sure what happens to Gloucester. Edgar leaves him under a tree and then takes him away to safety somewhere else. It's hard to imagine what safety he could offer Gloucester while the army of France is being routed by the English forces.

Two thoughts scribbled in my notes from the second night:

"Edg can take care of himself?"
"Edm needed protection... but at a distance"

There's the rub, I think. Despite all his pretences to the contrary, I believe that Gloucester treats his sons very differently, and the mistakes he made with Edmund go back for years. Edgar was always the capable one, or so Gloucester thought. Edmund was the "son" that needed looking after. What if the reverse is true? It's quite clear that Edmund knows how to handle himself both with word and with sword. Edgar is completely taken in by his brother's ruse. How capable is he, really?

And what mistakes did Gloucester make with Edgar?

First Night: Recap

2008-02-10T21:05:00.000-05:00

Tonight began like any other show I've ever done: introductions, administrivia, scheduling (lots and lots of scheduling -- and it still isn't done yet!) and then a bit of reading. A few observations:

Short rehearsals: our evenings will be relatively short, beginning at 7:15 and ending two to two and a half hours later. The Director said that his page limit on Shakespeare is about 10 pages. I'm of mixed mind about this: on the one hand I won't be as exhausted on a day-in day-out basis, but I really like to work in larger blocks of text. Then again, I'm not directing this production, so I guess I should just be grateful, eh?
Thrust staging: the fact that I have directed in this space should serve me well. Our playing space will be bounded on three sides by audience and we'll have six entrances. Six! I'm going to make sure I have a map with me at all times so I can keep my comings and goings straight.
Aging: the Director asked me how I wanted to handle Gloucester's age. I asked him how he'd like me to handle it. He suggested a beard. I've never had a beard before. The last time I grew facial hair of any sort it came in on the reddish-brown side. That was over ten years ago, so I'm willing to give it another try. Any suggestions from the hirsute among you (ahem, Joe) will be greatly appreciated.
Blood: and yes, there will be lots of it!

I've Been Cast! Now What?

2008-02-10T00:18:00.000-05:00

OK, so I've been cast in this great show. The first rehearsal is about 18 hours from now. So what am I doing to prepare?

Nothing.

That's right, nothing. There's no point in reading the text (and besides, it seems to be packed away somewhere and I can't locate it!) because the Director has probably made a few cuts and changes. It wouldn't resemble the original text. Now I did skim it online during lunch on Thursday, mainly to see how many scenes Gloucester has and where they are positioned in the play. Shakespeare has front-loaded this role in the first three acts. After he is blinded, he appears in a few really choice scenes but he's not onstage all the time. Which is a relief, actually. I can plan how to husband my physical resources during the performance with some actual breaks.

So now I wait to see what the Director has in store for the production.

I can't wait!

A Rededication

2008-02-09T00:32:00.001-05:00

I've spent the last six months feeling sorry for myself. It cost me, that feeling. It cost me the trust of my boss. It cost me some sobriety. It cost me some anger, rage and fear. Lots and lots of fear. Fear of never being good enough for anyone ever again. Fear of losing my Voice. Fear of pushing my friends away.

So. This feeling, then. It sucks.

I'm sick of it.

(Notice I didn't say I'm through with it. I'm not. But at last I see a glimmer of light at the end of this tunnel.)

I'm slowly making some changes. I've said that before, yes. But this time I think if I don't change my life I may end up being afraid all the time. I can't abide that.

So. Changes, then. What sort?

Starting here, I'm going to shift the focus of this space. The subtitle mentions politics and theater. I've written much on the former and precious little about the latter. I'm going to execute a flip-flop and devote this space to my experiences with my next show, "King Lear". I'm playing the part of Gloucester, and I'm going to use this space to let you inside my process. What goes on in my head and my body as I prepare to play this great part. It's long been one of my favorites and I only hope that I can do it justice. Some of my dearest friends are in this production, so I will be working in a comfortable place. It is my hope that I can stretch myself within this "comfort zone". I hope you will find it entertaining.

As for the other changes, well, they're mine for now. I may inform you of them later. I may not. Time will tell.

As dire as the opening of this post sounds, please don't worry about me. I'm feeling better than I have in months. For the first time in my life I am anxiously awaiting the return of Spring. I used to hide from it, trapped in a fog of antihistamines and flop sweat. I'm tired of hiding from my life.

Time to make an entrance!

Saint John McCain

2008-01-22T15:54:00.000-05:00

TRP has an excellent post explaining why he may support John McCain if he earns the GOP nomination. Allow me to present a counterpoint: why I used to support McCain and why I can no longer do so.

Let me take you back to 2000 and allow me to make a confession: I wasn't all that thrilled with Al Gore. I thought that his rejection of Clinton's offer to campaign for him was a petty move (not to mention tactically stupid). And, let's face it, this was the Al Gore before "An Inconvenient Truth": kinda bland, kinda nerdy (and not in a good way), and kinda entitled. He seemed to me to be approaching the campaign as if he had earned the presidency because he put up with Bill Clinton's shenanigans for 8 years. Perhaps my malaise was caused by other life events (my Mom dying of cancer, me engaged and undergoing a major career change), perhaps not. I was still prepared to vote for Al Gore come November (and did end up doing so) but I was keeping my eyes open for another option.

So along comes Senator John McCain. I had never heard of him before and was intrigued by this former Naval Aviator and POW. "Straight Talk Express"? Calling out the fundie freaks as "agents of intolerance"? Talking economic populism? And a Republican to boot? Wow, I was impressed. I disagreed with him a more than a few things, but I learned a long time ago that you are never going to find a candidate that matches you perfectly. I monitored his progress with great interest.

And then came the South Carolina push polling: "... the "pollsters" asked McCain supporters if they would be more or less likely to vote for McCain if they knew he had fathered an illegitimate child who was black." (McCain adopted a child from Indonesia.) I was incensed. I understood (and still understand) that politics can be a blood sport, but going after a candidate's family is really beyond the pale. I was anticipating a heavy response from McCain; I even had one crafted in my head:

"The people who are responsible for these phone calls are cowards. They are too scared to come after me so they come after my family instead. I am calling them out for the sniveling cowards that they are; I am asking the good people of the Palmetto State to prove these cowards wrong. The United States of America is not a country of cowards -- it is a country of heroes! Heroes like the people of the great state of South Carolina!"

But that stirring response never came. Bush won South Carolina and went on to secure the nomination and the election (with a dubious assist from the Supreme Court).

Over four years later, I saw this picture:

This was taken at a Bush campaign rally. McCain hugging Bush. Disgusting.

I apologize for the language I'm about to use but I can find no other words that adequately express how I feel: John McCain is a pussy.

Anyone who embraces someone whose agents have attacked their family is not much of a man, in my opinion. Gone was the "Straight Talk Express" and in its place was "Politics as Usual". To me, McCain can no longer claim the "Straight Talk" mandate ever again.

My Christian friends will remind me that it is better to turn the other cheek. And while I agree with that sentiment, there are limits to any virtue and attacking you through your family is one of those limits for me.

I'm also certain that there is much more to the story than what I have observed. But I don't care. McCain has proven himself to be nothing more than an average conservative politician. He'll probably get the nomination this time because the other GOP candidates are too freaky for a mass audience. John McCain is just another man who wants to be president, and a lesser man at that.

Religion and Politics

2008-01-04T08:09:00.000-05:00

My friend TRP has an interesting post up about playing campaign manager for Obama. As a political junkie, I think his idea is brilliant and should be implemented immediately.

As a non-religious American I only have one thought: "Ewwwww. Gross."

Seriously, can we just cut this crap? Let me put this as plainly as I can: I don't give a Flying Spaghetti Monster about your religious preferences. I think it's rude to parade your religion in public like that.

Think I'm a bit hyper-sensitive? OK, imagine if TRP's fictional statement reads like this:

"We have a long, spirited campaign ahead of us. I'd like to lead it off by inviting Governor Huckabee to join me [in a 3-way with my Wife]. He can ["cum" up here and do it] in Chicago, or else I'd be honored to [do him and his Wife in] Arkansas if he'd like. No cameras, no press there...just my family and his [getting it on all night long with various toys, lubes, and restraints -- if that's what he prefers], starting off the campaign by thinking about one thing we share in spite of all our differences: our [strap-ons]."

See? Icky, right? That's what I hear whenever I hear any candidate speak about their religion. I feel uncomfortable, like I've been invited into their living room to hear them discuss how they had sex with their partner last night and oh by the way wouldn't you like to join us?

Just please stop it, OK? I'm not interested in your sex life -- I mean religion. Seriously.

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

2007-12-31T21:19:00.002-05:00

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days o' auld lang syne

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll tak a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

-- Bobby Burns

I wish you and yours the happiest 2008. I'll be working on it, I assure you.

Edwards is My Guy

2007-12-16T22:16:00.000-05:00

And this quote is why:

And I think the notion that you can sit at the table and negotiate and compromise, and these powerful interests will give away their power, I think is a fantasy. If it were true, it would have been working over the last few decades. And it does not.

-- "This Week", 12/16/07

Things that Make Me Happy: a Series

2007-11-09T11:40:00.000-05:00

Clinton Portis' characters!

Checking In

2007-10-29T21:10:00.000-05:00

Listening to U2 (not that album, the next one), thinking about life, TRP's dilemma, the recent 'Skins loss, the disappointingly short World Series, missing my Mom, feeling a tad lonely, happy that my work headaches are coming to an end, looking forward to tomorrow's company Halloween Party (love those little kids in costume!), and feeling pretty stable about life in general.

How's things by you?

Week 5 Update

2007-10-09T16:45:00.000-05:00

Ok, so how are tommyspoon's Fantasy Football teams doing?

J Street Invisibles
2-3-0

tommyspoon's tea cozies
First Place

Underdog Pool
Tied for Sixth Place

All in all, not bad. Just don't bring up tommyspoon's Fantasy Baseball team, The New Homestead Grays.

A Dangerous Idea that Almost Makes Sense

2007-10-09T07:48:00.000-05:00

I made the mistake of listening to "Achtung Baby" on the way home yesterday. This is one of my all time fave albums; listening to it got me through grad school. But listening to "One" and "Love is Blindness" was a bit painful. So I may have to delve into new music for a while and leave some of my favorites behind.

So, anybody got any suggestions for me?

A Response for TRP

2007-10-08T07:37:00.000-05:00

TRP and I have been engaging in a dialogue about civility and politics. And before I get into my reply I want all readers to know a few things:

I share TRP's desire for a more civil, thoughtful political discourse.
Not only do we disagree on how to get there, but I am afraid that his approach is dangerous not only for the Democratic party, but for all of us who believe in social justice and other progressive ideas.
I consider both of our majority parties to be pretty much one and the same. They are both heavily funded by big business and, as such, are not generally beholden to the people of this country. So this is not a Blue/Red, Dem/Rep, Liberal/Conservative issue for me.
It is, however, about winning. Because only by winning can you change the rules of the game and change the cultural climate. This isn't NCAA Division I College Football where the champion is determined by some sophisticated algorithm. This isn't baseball, where the rules are elegant and can be interpreted many different ways and there is poetry and grace in every pitch, swing, hit and catch. This is old school smash mouth football. You must advance the ball to score points. Quoth Herman Edwards: "We play to win the game."
TRP and I are very close friends. This response may raise the color in his cheeks, but we'd probably go out and have a beer anyway. (Probably a Mudslide for him and a single-malt for me, but to each his own.)

"Just win, baby."

(Point of order: I hate Al Davis. I love that quote. Kinda sums me up in a nutshell.)

Our mutual friend Joe made the comment that groups of people cannot have "morals". I'll go one step further: politics isn't about morals. Politics has to do with winning and losing to see who gets to make the laws. Now, those laws can have a particular "moral" bent one way or the other. And certainly those who participate in the political process can hold a particular moral point of view. I don't find the "moral" issue particularly helpful when it comes to discussing politics; thus I was tempted to reject TRP's argument en mass. I was going to say that we were talking past each other speaking different languages and that the whole debate is rendered pointless as a result. Besides, I'm not a very good debater; TRP coaches debate. This is the equivalent of me stepping into the ring with Mike Tyson, for goodness sakes!

But the more I thought about his argument, the more I agreed with it. I just vehemently disagree on his approach. As I said in my opening, I think it's dangerous to the causes of social justice that we both care so much about. So this is why I'm responding to TRP. I don't suspect I'll change his mind, but I hope to make him see why I disagree with him.

TRP wants to raise the level of political discourse. But his way to get there is fraught with disappointment and defeat. He wants Charlie Brown to reason with Lucy and ask her to hold the football so he can kick it. And the fact that she takes it away time after time doesn't seem to trouble him. Well, it pisses me off. I'm tired of playing politics like it was the 1970s. It is now 2007: times have changed. They call for different strategies. This "suffering in silence" routine is getting old and getting us nowhere.

I sent this cartoon to TRP last week to preface this response. While I think it's funny, it also happens to be the best summation of the current political climate. Reasoning with the current GOP is like trying to reason with a drug addict: it's impossible. The only thing to do with an addict is to inform her that if she does not clean up her act then there will be consequences. The only thing that the current GOP will respect is their own downfall. They must know that their tactics will not work anymore. I believe the only way to do that is to give back to them in full measure. If we can beat them at their own game then they may think twice about playing it in the future.

I once had a Republican strategist tell me that the only way that the American people will rally around the Democratic party is if they won something. "It took us over 20 years of winning to pull the country our way," he said, "it will take the same kind of effort to pull the country back your way."

As I see it, the only way to raise the discourse is to win. Win back the Congress so we can tone down the rhetoric and restore some sense of balance, comity and cooperation. Because make no mistake, all of that has disappeared from the Capitol building. The GOP is mainly to blame, but Democrats such as Joe Lieberman and others have played the role of enabler. The time for hand-wringing and nuanced debate is over. The Democrats must play to win so we can bring an end to our role in Iraq, so we can expand SCHIP, so we can bring about civil rights to everyone in this country. There are so many reasons to "get up" for this game. It's time we got up, got out and won something!

TRPs Questions

Q: In Congress, would you rather have a thinking person who sometimes disagree with you? Or a non-thinking me-too party lackey who usually agrees with you?

A (TRP): My answer is found in my priorities: Conscience first, country second, party not even in the top ten.

A (tommyspoon): Depends. Right now I want a Congress who is completely committed to getting us out of Iraq. If I'm not mistaken, I believe that's what Mr. Baird's constituents want as well. I consider nuance and intellectual parsing of the Iraq issue to be a complete waste of time. The only questions worth asking are:

What is the timetable for withdrawal of US forces from Iraq?
What kind of help do the Iraqis want from us and how can we best provide that assistance?
What is our long-term foreign policy in the Middle East? More of the same? Or something different?

I believe that we can only answer questions 2 and 3 after we answer question 1. Questions 2 and 3 require nuance and thought and rumination. Question number 1 requires committed, resolute action. After the Democrats have veto-proof majorities in the House and Senate, then we can bring nuance and intellectual rigor back to the floors of the House and Senate.

Q: ... why crucify Rep. Baird for what is clearly a thought-out stand? We both disagree with him, but does that make him a bad guy or even a bad Democrat?

A (tommyspoon): I believe that Rep. Baird got played like a piano. Read this statement from Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky (D-IL) and ask yourself why there is such a disconnect between Baird's positive outlook and Schakowsky's observations. While I don't approve of Baird's constituents calling him names, I share their frustration. I'll give him props for holding the forum and explaining himself, but he's not doing what his constituents want him to do. That's not the kind of representation I want, TRP.

Shouldn't the Congressman represent the views of his constituents as well as his own? I admit that this is a hard line to straddle, but in the case of Iraq both you and I think the answer is pretty clear. So do Rep. Baird's constituents. We get it. I don't think he does. While I don't want a lapdog, I also don't want someone who disregards my wishes. That's not the kind of representation I want in Congress.

A Conclusion?

If I don't think that my reasoning will change TRP's mind, then why did I take the time to write it all down? Because I believe in the conversation. Despite all that I've said in this post, I believe that all conversations are valuable and necessary to our intellectual health. Conversations don't have to have winners and losers. TRP and I are (hopefully) big enough to know that there is room for all kinds of points of view int his world. TRP always gives me something to think about; I just hope I returned the favor.

A Postscript

One of the points that TRP made in his subsequent post was a comparison of MoveOn.org to the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth: "...and I'd argue that, unless and until the candidates disavow their tactics, MoveOn represents the Democrats in the same way that Swift Boat Veterans for Truth represented the Republicans..."

This may be nit-picking on both of our parts, but I don't think that this is a fair comparison. I offer into evidence these summations of both MoveOn.org and the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth.

TRP may still disagree with me, but he has challenged me on my assertions before so I thought it only fair to challenge him on one of his.

Democrats, Take Note

2007-10-02T08:44:00.000-05:00

We need much more of this!

Ode to One of My Vices

2007-09-28T09:55:00.000-05:00

9AM You're on Your Own, Pal

Visitor making fresh coffee in break room: Does this office make coffee with one packet or two?

Employee: Usually one... But there are factions...

1920 East Parham Road
Richmond, Virginia

via Overheard in the Office, Sep 28, 2007

Week Three Update

2007-09-25T07:31:00.000-05:00

Just thought I'd let you know that my Fantasy Football teams have achieved karmic balance:

J Street Invisibles Last Place in League

tommyspoon's tea cozies First Place in League

Clearly I'm better at picking games than managing players.

Not All of My Videos are Happy

2007-09-25T07:08:00.000-05:00

The Eyes Wide Open Project:

RIP, Bip

2007-09-24T13:06:00.000-05:00

From Leslie Crawford's Salon piece on Marcel Marecau:

The antipathy [toward mime] is often justified. With the exception of a few rare talents, most are nothing but genetically inferior spawns, mimicking the one true practitioner. The trouble is that these watered-down Marceaus rarely get it right -- and in so doing have made mime a four-letter word. "There is," as Marceau says, "only one Marceau." Yes, he's the real thing. He has an impeccable comic sense, and knows how to make you feel, in your soul, the tragic moment. It's no accident that children are his best audiences, because his art demands active participation, imagination. His is a world fashioned out of thin air. You see a statue, a pickpocket, a matador, a lion tamer, a soldier, a man passionately embraced by his lover. Marceau's highly stylized, lyrical sketches can be light and whimsical or bitingly satiric and dark. "Marceau in our time," says New York Times theater critic Clive Barnes, "remains the supremely eloquent voice of silence and poet of gesture."

While mourning the passing of a true master of performance, I am also mourning the passing of our collective sense of wonder and imagaination. I have an audition this evening and Bip will be on my mind (and hopefully in my soul).

This Post is Brought to You by...

2007-09-24T07:04:00.000-05:00

... my roommate's CD collection and the internets!

Too Funky

Freedom '90

Waiting for that Day

Enjoy!

Demeaning?!?

2007-09-20T07:07:00.000-05:00

I challenge anyone out there to explain this to me:

Have I mentioned tonight how much I hate these people?

3 Commercials

2007-09-12T11:49:00.000-05:00

You won't see these on TV.

Meet the Invisible Tea Cozies!

2007-09-06T12:15:00.000-05:00

In order to keep myself out of trouble for the Autumn (and possibly Winter), I've enrolled myself in not 1 but 2 Fantasy Football Leagues!

(I know, I know. The Divorce is getting to me in ways I couldn't have predicted.)

So, without further ado, meet tommyspoon's first team, the J Street Invisibles!

QB -- Peyton Manning, IND
WR -- Donte' Stallworth, NE
WR -- D.J. Hackett, SEA
RB -- Deuce McAllister, NO
RB -- Jamal Lewis, CLE
TE -- Todd Heap, BAL
W/R -- Fred Taylor, JAC
K -- Adam Vinatieri, IND
DEF -- Baltimore Ravens

Warming the bench are Jeff Garcia (QB -- SF), Brandon Jones (WR -- TEN), Reuben Droughns (RB -- NYG), T.J. Duckett (WR -- DET), Antwaan Randle El (WR -- WAS), and Justin Fargas (RB -- OAK).

(Seriously, who is Justin Fargas? I drafted him only because my last pick, Priest Holmes, is on all-but-permanent IR -- a fact that I was unaware of at the time of the draft.)

My second team, tommyspoon's tea cozies, is an entry in a pick 'em league on Yahoo!. I don't think I'm making any radical picks this weekend except Buffalo to beat Denver. That may be a sympathy pick on my part, who knows?

I am really glad that football season is starting tonight. I'll probably watch Indy and NO duke it out while doing an inaugural load of laundry at my new place. I'll try not to live it up too much, I promise.

Theatrical Doings

2007-09-04T10:17:00.000-05:00

Just to show you that I'm still in the game, I'm auditioning for this in two weeks.

I'm In

2007-09-04T07:35:00.001-05:00

Just In Case You Didn't Know This...

2007-08-31T12:25:00.000-05:00

... the Republican Party hearts the Ayatollahs.

Can we finally drop the pretense that these are reasonable people and call them what they are: theocratic fascists?

The Things We Share

2007-08-28T06:39:00.000-05:00

One of the things the Sweetie and I share is an intense love for Stevie Ray Vaughan, who passed away 17 years ago today. I was in summer stock at the time, and our Equity Stage Manager was a huge fan. She came into the bar that night with tears streaming down her face and told us the news. We all felt sucker-punched; we had been jamming to "Walkin' the Tightrope" and "Crossfire" on the jukebox all that summer while playing pool. Upon hearing the news, we all chipped in quarters and played those two songs all night long. Nobody objected.

So here's a video (scroll down to the bottom of the page) I found this morning: Stevie Ray Vaughan and Stevie Wonder jamming together on "Superstition" (which is my all time favorite Stevie Wonder tune). The video is not so great, but the sound is pretty good. I suggest turning up your speakers at some point today. SRV would approve.

Status Report

2007-08-26T06:22:00.000-05:00

So, how are things going, you ask?

Pretty good. Pretty good.

Moved a bunch of stuff into my new place yesterday. In 100 degree heat. All by myself. Yes, my knees hate me now.
All utilities have been canceled and/or reshuffled.
Paperwork is slowly being completed.

Emotionally, I'm more a wreck than I show the world these days. That's going to get worse before it gets better, I'm afraid. Sweetie's 'bout the same. But we're still talking and that's a good thing.

In a quest to keep myself busy, I'm entering a Fantasy Football league at the office (draft is this Tuesday night--I wonder if I can get that Heap guy from the Ravens) and I'm going to take part in TRP's Underdog pool. I don't know why I didn't do this last year; I'm a big fan of the underdog. My, that's a lot of sports-gambling related activity. How will my moral center cope?

To all those who sent us emails of support and love: thank you. I have no more words to tell you how much that love and support means to both of us. And I've wept over too many keyboards to count, so I'll stop here.

No Easy Way to Say This

2007-08-23T09:07:00.000-05:00

Just thought I would publish this here, in case this message was not received.

Greetings,
We wish we had some clever way of starting off a letter like this, but there isn't any nice way to say it: we are getting divorced. This may come as a shock to you, but this has been a long time in coming. Rest assured that we have made every effort to avoid this outcome, but we realized that it is the best solution for both of us. We would like to have told each and every one of you in person, but airfare is awfully expensive.

We're not going to try and answer all of your questions with this letter, but we can say the following with no reservations:

This is an amicable divorce.
There is no need for you to take sides. Please don't fall into the trap of "Well, I can't talk to him because I just talked to her…" You can talk to both of us. Really. It's OK.
This was not the result of infidelity, financial chicanery, or any of the usual reasons why people divorce.
We still care about each other a great deal. Yes, this is making the process harder, not easier.
So, what's next for us? In the Commonwealth of Virginia, a couple has to be separated for 6 months before a divorce can be finalized. So Sweetie is going to try to keep the house and tommyspoon is moving out September 1.

This is a time of uncertainty for both of us. But we both cherish the love and support that all of you have given to us; the certainty of that love and support is what will get us through this rough time. We love all of you very much! That remains certain, always.

Does Microsoft Act Like a Giant Penis? Discuss...

2007-08-15T13:23:00.001-05:00

My friend Dave Edelman has written a great post on his blog about Microsoft. I think he gets it mostly right, but my comment still stands.

What? You want it handed to you? Go read the post and the comments!

And while you're at it, go out and buy his dynamite SF debut novel Infoquake. You'll be a better person for it. Really.

Why say this anymore?

2007-08-13T09:41:00.000-05:00

Yeah, Karl Rove is resigning his position to "spend more time with his family."

To quote Bill the Cat: "Pffffttt!"

Classical Music?

2007-08-06T10:34:00.000-05:00

This is so wrong. But so right, too.

Changes on the way

2007-08-06T08:41:00.001-05:00

The look of this site is just the beginning.

A Poll and a Tease

2007-02-09T08:40:00.000-05:00

So, should I audition for this or not? The director called me last night and wants me to play either The King or The Duke. Callbacks are tomorrow, so leave your opinion in the comments. Thanks!

P.S. I did serve on a Jury this week and am going to write it up this weekend. I'll post all the details (with names changed to protect the innocent) next week.

UPDATE: Just got an e-mail asking if I'd be interested in auditioning for this. Any thoughts?

UPDATE 2: Thanks for your input, but I've decided not to audition for anything at this time. I spent one whole day last week putting our team calendar together, and March is going to be very busy. I'll still support the Great American Musical, just not onstage!

The Coolest Five Minutes and Forty Seconds

2007-01-30T16:30:00.000-05:00

Check this out:

Reggie Watts: "Out of Control"

If you like Bobby McFerrin, you'll LOVE this.

You can thank me later.

In Other (Surprising) News...

2007-01-17T08:12:00.000-05:00

Turn to page 6.

Believe me, I'm just as surprised as you are. I think I spent a total of 4 hours of work on those shows.

Good News and Bad News

2007-01-11T11:22:00.000-05:00

The Bad: A small spot of bleeding was discovered in my left eye during my eye exam this AM.

The Good: I'm sporting a whole new style! Check out these shades!

What do you mean this look isn't going anywhere?

Noted Sans Comment

2007-01-04T14:44:00.000-05:00

Rep. Virgil Goode's District Office Vandalized

OK, two comments:

Vandalism's not cool, 'nkay?
Rock on!

38

2006-12-28T10:01:00.000-05:00

President Gerald Ford passed away this week and that's very sad for his family and admirers. I don't hold any bad feelings toward the former president, but I find the laudatory overload in the media a bit much. By most accounts, President Ford was an affable and intelligent man who served his country when his country needed him. But I got two rather large problems with this man's legacy:

The pardoning of President Nixon was not the best thing for the country, despite what the great wise men of Washington (Broder, Woodward, et. al.) say. It may have calmed things down inside the Beltway, but it brought no closure for the rest of the country. Over thirty years after Nixon left the White House, we are still debating Nixon's conduct. By contrast, consider the OJ trial: other than the occasional celebrity sighting of OJ in some bar or shopping mall, we don't talk about that mess anymore. Why? Because there was a trial and a verdict. No matter how you felt about the outcome of that trial, our legal process was allowed to operate as intended. This allowed the country to move on. President Ford circumvented this process and set one man above the law. That's as un-american as it gets, IMHO. In this light, I don't think it's a stretch to say that Nixon's pardon encouraged and enabled the conduct of the current occupant of the White House.
In 1975, Indonesia occupied East Timor and killed over 200,000 people in the process. What did President Ford have to do with that? Well, he gave the government of Indonesia permission. You can read the high-level details here. You could argue that Kissinger had more to do with this tragedy than Ford, but Ford was president, not Kissinger. Ford could have persuaded the Indonesian government to go a different way, but he did not. The reasons don't matter much to me; those 200,000 dead people do. That blood stains President Ford's hands; I hope that his God is a forgiving one.

So, how will I remember President Ford? Fair to middlin', I guess. He may have been kind and intelligent and civil, but he made some large mistakes that still reverberate today. I guess you can say that about most presidents.

can't believe [they] got so far with a head so empty

2006-12-19T15:29:00.000-05:00

I shouldn't care about this story at all, but since I attended an Episcopal college and have a number of friends who are members of the Episcopal church, I find myself drawn to it nonetheless. My feelings are those of sadness and resignation: it seems like bigotry and intolerance are not going to go away as quickly as some of us might like.

And to those Episcopalians who bristle at my use of the word bigot, let me ask you a question: What would you call discrimination against women and homosexuals?

Gotta Work on This...

2006-12-19T10:53:00.000-05:00

I'm not a well-travelled fellow. Bad fellow, no biscuit!

The World:

create your own visited country map
or check our Venice travel guide

The Country:

create your own personalized map of the USA
or check out ourCalifornia travel guide

A Teaser!

2006-12-18T10:08:00.000-05:00

Coming in 2007...

"Bride and Doom"

Check Out These Speculations

2006-12-11T08:17:00.000-05:00

Pinochet is dead. Good riddance to bad rubbish. He brought terrorism to my hometown in 1976 with the assassination of Orlando Letelier and his aide by a car bomb in downtown D.C.
Big Box Stores scare me. I accompanied my Dad to Costco yesterday to pick up a new microwave and assorted other household items. I hadn't been in one of those kinds of stores in several years. Wow. Scary. Too many people. Too many juxtaposed items (meat not more than thirty feet away from garden hoses). Just too much. Call me old fashioned, but I'll gladly go to the grocery store, the hardware store, and the liquor store separately.
Baking is upon us in earnest. This weekend, Sweetie mixed together about 5 batches of cookie dough which is now chilling nicely in the fridge. I experimented with my Mom's cranberry cake recipe by baking it in smaller sizes. After two batches, we figured out how to make "mini-cakes" successfully. Look for these in a holiday gift basket near you.

30 Questions!

2006-12-04T09:59:00.000-05:00

It's like 20 questions, with a bonus!

1. In two words, explain what ended your last relationship? Distance & Longing

2. When was the last time you shaved your legs? The last time I performed in drag... um, over ten years ago, I think.

3. What were you doing this morning at 8am? Hard at work.

4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? See #3.

5. Are you any good at math? Nope.

6. Your prom night? Which one? I had 4...

7. Do you have any famous relatives? I'm pretty sure that Reese Witherspoon is a distant cousin. But I'm still trying to verify that.

8. Have you ever taken out a loan to pay for school? Hell yes. Undergrad is paid off; working on the grad.

9. Do you know the words to your MySpace song? I have no MySpace page.

10. Last thing received in the mail? Shoes from Zappos!

11. How many different beverages have you drank today? Coffee and water.

12. Do you ever leave messages on people's answering machines? Sometimes, but I try to keep them brief.

13. First concert? Billy Idol

14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? Yes, right next to the sand castle.

18. Do you like the ocean? Yes

19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different kinds of popcorn for Christmas? Not for a while.

20. Have you ever been to a planetarium? Yes

22. Something you are excited about? Acting and Theater, Politics, History, Cooking

23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? Peach. It was my Mom's favorite during her chemotherapy.

24. Are any of your great-grandparents still alive? No

25. Describe your keychain? A brass fob with the word "STAR" on it. A gift from my Mom years ago.

26. Where do you keep your change? My pocket and then our piggie at home.

27. When was the last time you spoke in front of a large group of people? I gave a presentation at the TAG Conference in Baltimore.

28. What kind of winter coat do you have? A surplus Navy pea coat.

29. What do you think of the person you copied this from? Goddess of grammar and wine.

30. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? Open

"How's your boy?"

2006-11-29T08:25:00.000-05:00

Yet another piece of evidence that our current Commander-in-Chief doesn't deserve the title.

"How's your boy?"

Mr. President, with all due respect, stop playing the folksy card. You should know how Mr. Webb's boy is doing -- you sent him over there!

Tommy versus Kramer

2006-11-22T14:25:00.000-05:00

At my new place of employment, people have been asking my opinion about Michael Richard's implosion at the Laugh Factory in L.A. I'm not going to comment about his choice of language (which was appalling), but here are some of my thoughts about this incident:

Mr. Richards violated the cardinal rule of performing: NEVER INSULT YOUR AUDIENCE. EVER. Once you do that, you've lost the battle and the war. Audiences behave collectively: even if some audience members disapprove of the behavior of other audience members, they will all react together. Whether that reaction entails walking out en masse or joining the heckling, pretty soon the performer will be one against many. And any military strategist will tell you that's a losing proposition. A microphone is not an adequate weapon against a mob.

The audience members who were either heckling or simply talking amongst themselves (reports vary) should be ashamed of themselves. I'm not saying they deserved to be insulted, but they behaved rudely before Richards did. If you pay money to see a show, you should take your seat and keep quiet so the people around you (who also paid to see this show) can enjoy themselves.

This incident illustrates why I can't do stand up comedy. I've tried it once or twice and failed miserably because I can't tell a joke to save my life. But I've been heckled several times over the years and I'm here to tell you that I've never experienced the kind of rage that heckling triggers inside of me. I don't want to go to their offices and make fun of them while they are on the job (a la "Seinfeld"). I want to kill them, plain and simple. So I completely understand where Mr. Richard's rage came from that night.

Once again, let me state that I am not apologizing for his use of a racial epithet. That was only one of the stupid things he did that night on that stage. As a seasoned performer, he should have known better than to insult the people who signed his paycheck.

Stupid or Gullible?

2006-10-16T10:47:00.000-05:00

Sweetie and I watched last night's "60 Minutes" piece on the new book, "Tempting Faith" (segment and recap can be reached here).
As I listened to Mr. Kuo's comments, two thoughts went through my mind:

Well, duh.
Nice to see that gullibility is alive and well.

As a long-time secularist (but not a fundie secularist) I have been long-offended by the notion that people of my ilk were busy trashing the Christian religion. I hope this book puts that silly notion to rest. I am certain that some of us secularists view the activities of various organized religions with a measure of disdain and/or humor, but at least we haven't been conning religious folks out of their dollars and votes.

I am certain that many of my fellow secularists may think that these evangelical Christians must be dumber than a sack of hair. I disagree. What you are seeing here is gullibility on a massive scale. And I have to doff my derby to the GOP for carrying this charade on for so long. And, if there is a heaven/hell, I do hope that Ralph Reed has his own personal rack reserved.

I am also certain that some of my fellow secularists may laugh heartily at Mr. Kuo's surprise that the GOP was taking advantage of he and his fellow evangelicals. Mr. Kuo, why do you think so many of us become secularists in the first place? Whenever evangelicals raise the roof about gay marriage, abortion, or the loss of God in the schools, all I ever think about is this: What about the poor? I thought that Jesus spoke often about the poor. What happened to the notion of helping the least among us?

I once told an evangelical Christian who was busy trying to convert me that I would gladly join his congregation if they would stop talking about gay marriage and abortion and instead discuss the poor and the downtrodden. He got kind of a curious look on his face as if he had never considered those issues until that moment. I've never forgotten that encounter.

Now perhaps some of you evangelical Christians may fully understand why church and state should be separated. I think Mr. Kuo's gotten the message, at least for now.

On the Death of America

2006-09-29T05:50:00.000-05:00

I guess I should be thankful that my Mom isn't around to see this.

My heart is broken.

God, am I in a Mood

2006-09-28T08:16:00.000-05:00

It started on Tuesday. I'll let Arlington County Government tell you all about it:

Around 2:00 pm yesterday afternoon in the East Falls Church area of Arlington, a contractor for Dominion Virginia Power was replacing a high voltage cross arm when it fell on another high voltage cross arm, creating a large power surge in that area. Customers experienced a power surge and an 8 minute power outage.

So I spent Tuesday night and most of yesterday in a low state of panic about the electrical system of our home. The house was built in 1941 and the electrical system is probably not much younger. We still use fuses in our home, not those fancy shmancey breaker boxes that most of y'all have. Long story short, our home is fine. We replaced a few fuses and tested the outlets and such and everything is ok. We did suffer a few casualties: 3 blown surge protectors and the wireless network booster module (which was protected by one of those blown surge protectors). But our PCs and TV and various other electronics are just fine. So let that be a small lesson to y'all: invest in surge protectors.

Several posts from my friends made me begin to question my faith in my fellow man.

Most importantly, the House said it's ok for the President to torture people. I can't tell you how sad and depressed this makes me. Does anyone else care about this besides me? I'd appreciate any evidence that can be offered.

A ray of consolation was offered by my Sweetie a few days ago. She gave me this as a small present celebrating my new job. It's now stuck to my flap of my bag. Hey, it's something to lift my spirits.

A Forceful Plea

2006-09-27T12:12:00.000-05:00

It's not often that I use this platform to ask for anything from its readership. But I am going to ask each of you to do one thing: Contact your elected representatives in congress and ask them not to pass this ridiculous "compromise" on torture. You can do it by e-mail or phone or both.

If you live in the United States of America and you love this nation as much as I do, please do this. Thank you.

When Worlds Collide...

2006-09-25T09:53:00.000-05:00

I love it when football and my career come head to head. Norman Chad from today's column in WaPo:

Q . Redskins offensive coordinator Al Saunders has a 700-page playbook. Wouldn't you think some of those plays are designed to produce touchdowns? (Ken Alexander; Seattle)

A . The problem with Saunders's 700-page playbook is that it's not indexed. So it takes a really, really long time to find the right play.

Let that be a lesson for y'all: don't forget to index. Maybe that's why our QB stank up the joint until yesterday...

Farewell, Ms. Richards

2006-09-14T05:55:00.000-05:00

I'm gonna miss this woman for the following reason:

Asked once what she might have done differently had she known she was going to be a one-term governor, Ms. Richards grinned.

"Oh, I would probably have raised more hell."

We need more hell-raisers these days.

While on the subject...

2006-08-01T09:17:00.000-05:00

Ms. Lohan's recent antics have sparked a few thoughts from yours truly. Having just spent several days under lights and camera I understand that making movies is not all peaches and cream. (I much prefer the theatrical process to the cinematic one, but no matter.) And I can only imagine what it must be like to be hung over (or "dehydrated") while on set. But if the demands of being a highly paid film actor are too demanding, then please step aside and open up some opportunities for other actors to fill your "exhausted" shoes. There are several young women that were extras for "Bride and Doom" that would be more than happy to swap places with you, Ms. Lohan. And I can almost guarantee that they will show up for work, on time, sober, and prepared.

More Shooting

2006-08-01T07:29:00.000-05:00

Spent the weekend in a funeral home shooting the final scenes of "Bride and Doom." That's me looking ever so creepy and somber in the chapel.

The work went very well; I even cracked up the cameraman during my sermon. These people have been much fun to work with, and that made my eerie discovery easier to handle.

We shared the building with two "clients", each tucked away in their own viewing room. One was a woman in her 80's who seemed perfectly at home in her satin-lined eternal bed. The other was a young man killed in Iraq. 22 or 23 years old, I think. I stumbled into his room purely by accident wile searching for a quiet place to warm up. (I don't think he would have minded a bit if I conducted my usual physical and vocal routines, but I was sufficiently spooked that I excused myself. Yes, I said "Excuse me" to a corpse. Guess my manners are lodged firmly in place.)

As the day wore on, I couldn't get his cherubic face out of my mind. I've been to funerals of young people, but there's always something disturbing about seeing such a young person lying in a casket. The mortician's touch on a young person seems to beatify them in a way that has always creeped me to the bone. And the more I thought about this poor young man and his family, the more it got under my skin. I warned several people not to go into that room, so they would be spared the awful sight.

I shared my feelings with one of the cast and she told me how one of her relatives was injured in some military training and would not be returning for his third tour. She said he is feeling despondent because he is looking forward to a career in law enforcement and this back injury might prevent him from realizing that dream. I told her about my experience at the ATF and said that there are more ways to catch bad guys than jumping out of squad cars and kicking down doors. She said that she was happy that her relative had been injured so that he has been spared that third tour of duty. "Looking at the poor young man in there," she gestured to the viewing room, "really brings it home, doesn't it?" "It makes me really angry," I responded. "Angry and sad. There's no good reason for him to be lying in there." She nodded sadly.

And then we were called for our next scene. Art, like life and war, always goes on.

Behind the Scenes

2006-07-26T08:33:00.000-05:00

Snapped at the end of a very long shooting day..." />

Snapped at the end of a very long shooting day...

More Pictures From The Home Front

2006-07-20T07:22:00.000-05:00

Offered with no comment or context...

Munchy Movie Meme

2006-06-23T20:54:00.000-05:00

Ok, by now you must know the drill...

A. Pick 11 of your favorite movies.
B. Then pick one of your favorite quotes from each movie.
C. Post the quotes on your blog.
D. Have commenters guess what the movie is.
E. Either strike out the quote once it has been correctly identified or place the guesser'’s user name directly after the quote.
F. Extra points for knowing the actor or characterÃ’s name.

1. "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true..." (from "2001: A Space Odyssey", Joe with the correct answer)

2. "Do you know the way to Shell Beach?" (from "Dark City", toporific with the correct answer. And yes, it is a very underrated movie.)

3. "The Champ is here! The Champ is here!" (from "Ali", Joe with the correct answer)

4. "I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid."

5. "No, don't speak. Don't speak. Silence. Silence. Don't speak!" (from "Bullets Over Broadway", Joe with the correct answer)

6. "Let's go get sushi and not pay." (from "Repo Man", Dan with the correct answer)

7. "I don't know that stuff. I just do eyes." (from "Blade Runner", Mick with the correct answer)

8. "Get away from me you shitter!"

9. "Never get out of the boat. Absolutely goddamned right." (from "Apocalypse Now", Mick with the correct answer)

10. "Well, I'll give him another twenty minutes; but that's it!" (from "Airplane!", TRP with the correct answer)

11. "It was real greaseball stuff." (from "Goodfellas", Oddangel with the correct answer)

Several Thousand Words

2006-05-16T06:49:00.000-05:00

Here's a few snaps of my recent days. More words later, I promise!

"The Threepenny Opera" at Studio 54

STC Conference in Las Vegas

The Scrim for Blue Man Group

Star Trek Experience at the Las Vegas Hilton

The Strip from the Stratosphere

Dad Dances!

Needless to say, the last one's my favorite.

Tale of 2

2006-04-04T08:32:00.000-05:00

I've had two auditions in the past two days. They were very different, and yet each of them left me with a similar taste in my mouth.

Audition #1
Genre: Independent Film
Location: Waldorf, MD

This was actually my second audition for this project. I won't divulge the title, but based on the sides I've read so far I would categorize this film as a very campy murder mystery. Think John Waters meets "CSI:" or "Cold Case". I've read for a forensic lab technician and a hot and bothered preacher. I get the sense that they are interested in working with me, but they have obviously not made up their minds about how they want to use me. Indecisiveness is not a quality that you run across often in this business. So half of me is amused. The other half is thoroughly irritated about driving the hour and twenty minutes from my house to the audition site. I'm hoping that they make up their minds soon so I don't have to beg off another trip.

Audition #2
Genre: Theatre
Location: Herndon, VA

This was the second night of auditions for "The Bible: The Complete Word of God Abridged". It's an improv-style show penned by the same folks who wrote "Shakespeare Abridged". Unfortunately for the company, the weather system that produced those horrible tornadoes in the Midwest over the weekend arrived in our area yesterday. There were high winds, lots of lightning, and a bit of rain and hail. (All in all, we fared much better than our Midwestern counterparts. I'm sending my good karma and thoughts to those affected.)

So I wasn't surprised that I was only the second person to show up last night. But I was surprised that I was only the seventh person to audition overall. Basically, I walked into the theater last night to find the producer, director and stage manager loitering in the lobby hoping and praying that people would show up. I dutifully filled out my audition form (that was when I noticed that I was lucky number 7), had my picture taken, and was asked if I could return on Thursday evening for callbacks (they were originally scheduled for tonight). I hope that there was a mad rush of folks after I left and the weather improved.

I'm not sure what to do about this. I'm going to the callbacks on Thursday because I never turn down an opportunity to audition. But I'm concerned that this show attracted so few people. Since I wouldn't be getting paid for this, the quality of the people involved means a lot to me. I guess we'll see what happens on Thursday.

Weekend Reviews

2006-03-28T09:34:00.000-05:00

Reviews from our Fifth Wedding Anniversary Weekend:

Willow Restaurant. Two thumbs up. One of the best filets I've ever had on the East Coast, and Sweetie's lentil and wilted green entree was to die for. One of my yardsticks for a good meal out is if I want to make the meal at home. Yeah, I think I'll try to recreate this soon.

"Forever Plaid" at RCP. Mixed thumbage. We enjoyed the performance of our friend, Troy Miller, very much. He's got such a great presence on stage. The show itself is very cliche and cheesy, but that's the point. (I am afraid that in 10-15 years or so the entire "Ed Sullivan Show" parody will have to be removed because the people who get those jokes may not be around anymore.) The best moment of the evening involved a ketchup bottle that had been struck one two many times.

National Museum of the American Indian. Mixed thumbage. Two of the exhibits we enjoyed very much, but the rest of the museum feels very scattered. Artifacts are displayed with very little context (although with plenty of interactivity!). The building itself is gorgeous, particularly the interior. As a bonus, we actually drove down and found parking right next to the museum! Gotta pay back the parking karma...

Alton Brown's "The Chewy" Chocolate Chip Cookie. Two thumbs up. Sweetie now has another baking assignment: these cookies. Like meth, these cookies are...

"Thank You For Smoking". Two thumbs up. The ensemble is terrific! With the exception of Katie Holmes. She. Can. Not. Act. At. All. We left trying to figure out why she gets parts. But JK Simmons and William H. Macy more than make up for her. It's very funny and even-handed in its sarcasm. Check it out!

Our Waiter at Tutto Benne. Two thumbs down. I'm gonna submit this episode to Tom Sietsema's chat this week because it really flabbergasted us. Sweetie (a vegetarian) orders the cheese ravioli and it arrives dressed in a meat sauce. She didn't realize that she had to choose between marinara and meat sauce and so asked the waiter to make the change. Not only did he express profound reluctance to make the switch, but implied that he would be charged for the "extra dish." We were both a bit flummoxed, but Sweetie pointed out that he hadn't asked her if she had a preference. The dish was fixed and everything ended up ok, but it left a pretty bad taste in our mouths.

Breaking Radio Silence

2006-03-23T09:17:00.000-05:00

So. I haven't been around here for a while. Sorry about that. I've been in a bit of a funk, the sources of which are various and sundry. I'm not getting into the actual reasons for the funk, but here's a list of things that are not causing me pain:

The tattered state of my NCAA brackets. My two final teams (Duke and Villanova) are still alive, but there is a big X where my Washington, D.C. bracket used to be.
The tattered state of Barry Manilow's face. It's so sad to see one of my childhood idols fall prey to the plastic surgeon's blade.
The tattered state of Alfonso Soriano and the Nats. Sure, he took Left Field yesterday. So how 'bout tomorrow?

I'm feeling a bit better today than I have in a few days. So don't worry, the only way to go is still up.

Swooning a Bit

2006-02-28T07:07:00.000-05:00

I'm getting over a really nasty head cold, so much of my life right now appears to be swaying from port to starboard.

But this is an interesting piece of news:

You Are 40% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well.
In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

As I was going to St. Ives...

2006-02-23T10:02:00.000-05:00

... I met a man with seven wives.
Every wife had seven sacks,
Every sack had seven cats,
Every cat had seven kittens.
Kittens, cats, sacks, wives,
How many were going to St. Ives?

Gakked from TRP:

"Scar Tissue" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Most of the RHCP lyrics are utter nonsense and thus should be ignored. But I can't get the following line out of my head these days: "I'll make it to the Moon if I have to crawl." The interplay between Flea and John Frusciante is simply beautiful.

"American Car" by Mike Doughty. I love Soul Coughing. I love Mike Doughty's solo work even more. His lyrics are some of the best poetry I've heard in a very long time. This track from his recent album "Haughty Melodic" is one of the best.

"Jesus of Suburbia" by Green Day. Good to know that punk isn't dead. And just to underscore that point, I saw a gaggle of kids outside my neighborhood high school wearing mohawks (each a different color), Misfits t-shirts, and Doc Martens.

"Back in Black" by AC/DC. One of the few things that get me going these days. Nothing like a main line shot of angry guitars!

"Sour Girl" by Stone Temple Pilots. My current ear worm. I seem to hear this melody everywhere I go...

"The Mark Has Been Made" by Nine Inch Nails. This is the music playing on the teaser ad for the upcoming season of HBO's "The Sopranos". It's one of my favorites from Mr. Reznor and company. Ever since Katrina, I've had a little NIN in my mental airplay since he's usually not mentioned in the conversation about New Orleans music. Even though you'd never put him on the bill of a zydeco show, I always hear a bit of the spirit of the Crescent City in his music. Yes, this is a dirge. But it's a dirge with a message: Do something!

"Into the Mystic" by Van Morrison. Just because.

Light and Shadow

2006-02-21T08:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, Sweetie and I traipsed down to the Mall and entered the Hirshorn Museum. There we saw an exhibition of the work of photographer Hiroshi Sugimoto. Wicked awesome!, as the Southies might say. If you are local or plan on being in the Washington area between now and May 14, I strongly urge you to go see this exhibit. I really loved his photographs of the wax figures of Henry VIII and his six wives.

It's been a while since a gallery exhibit has really excited me. And I didn't even mention that this opened on Sunday. Yippee!

Johari Window

2006-02-15T08:11:00.000-05:00

I usually don't go for these online personality things, but I think Johari Windows are cool. A friend at Kenyon did one of these things on me for some pysch project and it was very interesting. Anyway, I invite you to participate in mine.

Just pick five or six words that you think best describe me. Feel free to remain anonymous.

2006 Snowfall

2006-02-13T08:13:00.000-05:00

Well, Winter finally decided to show up this weekend. The official snowfall total for our neck of the woods was 8", but I think we got closer to a foot. It appeared on Sunday morning having done absolutely nothing all day Saturday. After digging ourselves out and a nap, Sweetie wanted to take some pictures. A good time was had by all!

Noises Off Review

2006-02-09T13:16:00.000-05:00

A nice review of the show courtesy of the WaPo.

I Heart D.C.!

2006-02-09T08:16:00.000-05:00

This is one of the reasons I absolutely love living here in our Nation's Capital:

"Oh, no," said a woman with a Minuteman sticker on her coat. "Not the Nazis."

Because nothing spoils an anti-immigrant rally faster than a bunch of actual Nazis showing up.

Tee hee!

oh i could give a straight-up goddamn

2006-02-08T08:08:00.000-05:00

Things that the rest of the world is hewing and crying about that I could not give a fig about:

The whole Islam v. Denmark cartoon dustup. Here are the cartoons in case you haven't seen them. Call me vulgar, but I even find the seventh one down kinda funny. I guess this is Islam's "Piss Christ" moment. (Please don't click that last link if you are easily offended. You have been warned.) Do I think that the publication of these cartoons was a bad idea? Yeah, I do. Do I think that the protests against Denmark are also bad ideas? Yep. So, I score this 0-0 so far. Wake me when either side makes a bold move.
The flap over the officiating in the Super Bowl. My friend, Blogging Ref, has a good breakdown of the particulars, if you're interested. I'm not. The only comment I have is that the NFL had better do something to address the public's lack of confidence in NFL officiating. Making the refs full time is not a bad idea, and yes, BR, they can ref in Europe if the NFL will pay them to do so.
The new Majority Leader in Congress, John Boehner (whose last name I will deliberately mispronounce because it makes me laugh). Meet the new boss, same as the old boss.

Tom/Tom Go to the Symphony

2006-02-03T08:36:00.000-05:00

As a Kennedy Center Volunteer, Dad scored some free tickets to the world premiere of Roberto Sierra's "Missa Latina" performed by the National Symphony Orchestra, the Choral Arts Society of Washington, and two soloists. I had not been to a symphony performance in quite some time, and this was a wonderful evening to ease back into the orchestral milieu. Yes, it was a traditional orchestral mass. But it was peppered throughout with timbales, maracas, and bongos. The "Kyrie" was set to a rhumba beat! My favorite line from the review: "Indeed, the 'Sanctus' could almost be turned into a pop song."

As enjoyable as the performance was, it was even nicer to see Dad out and about. He bumped into the woman who trained him as a Volunteer, who was overjoyed to see him. For a while, it was as if all the events of last year hadn't taken place. Aleluia!